Six Biblical Truths for Singles

We’re beginning a new series on relationships. As a single pastor, I thought it was important that we begin with singleness.

Far too often, singleness is left out of the typical church sermon series. There may not be any ministry or teaching for singles in a vast majority of churches. But that’s not how it always was.

Once upon a time, singleness was the preferred state for Christians. It wasn’t until the Reformation in 1517, when things changed.

I’d suggest you check out these statistics from Gospel Relevance:

• More than 4 out of every 10 adults in the US is not married.
• The singles population is larger than the total national population of all but 11 nations.
• America has upwards to 82 million single adults.
• 4 out of 5 single adults consider themselves to be Christian.
  

If you are single, you are not alone!

But, admittedly, in churches, there seems to be a heavier emphasis placed on marriage than on singleness, which mistakenly leads some people to believe the former is better than the latter.

As we enter this new blog series, we invite both singles and coupled Christians to join us.

Our single friends can be reminded why their singleness matters, and our married friends can discover ways their language and actions may hinder and harm the singles among them.

May we cling to this reminder no matter our relationship status: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ And “‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Mark 12:30-31).

In the meantime, here are six biblical truths for singles.

Singleness is Not Your Identity

Far too often, we are identified by our status – socio-economic status, educational status, or career status. However, more people these days rate themselves according to their relationship status.

The good news? We are not our current status.

As Christians, our identify is found in Christ. Not in our partner or children or job title.

According to The Gospel Coalition, “Scripture teaches that single Christians are not defined by their singleness, but by their union with Jesus Christ. Singleness, like marriage, is a God-given calling, not an identity. The calling of singleness does not stamp upon the single person an identity any different from a married person.”

Singleness is Not a Problem to be Solved

Many singles and those happily coupled assume that singleness is a problem to be solved. People act as if singles need to find their match to be whole and complete.

Married Christians need to stop saying to singles, “You’ve just got to find the right person!” Also, no more of that, “The right guy/girl will come along one day.” None of this is necessarily true.

In fact, the Bible says singleness can be a gift given by God (1 Corinthians 7:7).

Some single people hate to hear that. If you’re a single person, as much as you may not want to be single, trust that this season or lifetime of singleness is part of God’s design for your life.

Lifeway explains, “The truth is, God hasn't promised any of us marriage. Time after time, we're told, "God has someone who will be perfect for you!" when God has promised no such thing. God promises to meet our needs; He doesn't promise us a husband or a wife. […] But the value in accepting this harsh reality is that it allows you to begin to dream new dreams for your life and to live fully the life you've been given today.”

Singleness Has Unique Advantages

There are advantages to marriage, as well as advantages to singleness – especially for those who are Christians. For example, singles have more freedom to serve the church and the unique ability to love many.

Peter Scazzero writes in one of my favorite books, Emotionally Healthy Leader, “Married couples bear witness to the depth of Christ’s love. Their vows focus and limit them to loving one person exclusively, permanently, and intimately. Singles — vowed or dedicated — bear witness to the breadth of Christ’s love. Because they are not limited by a vow to one person, they have more freedom and time to express the love of Christ to a broad range of people. Both marrieds and singles point to and reveal Christ’s love, but in different ways.”

Singleness Matters to the Church

If you’ve spent time in church, you’ve likely heard how Christ loves the church as His bride. Therefore, marriage is a picture of the love God has for the church (a.k.a. Christ followers).

With that being said, singleness is also a testimony to how great God is.

The Gospel Coalition explains, “If marriage was designed to show off Christ’s love and devotion to the church, then singleness was designed to show off the church’s love and devotion to Christ. You see, as marriage seems to uniquely highlight the love and devotion of Christ to his church, seen in the love and devotion between a husband and wife, singleness seems to uniquely highlight the church’s love and devotion to Christ, seen in the single person’s exclusive devotion to Christ.”

When singles choose to pursue a holy life apart from our overly romanticized and sexualized culture, it shows the world the hope they have in eternity.

Singleness is Not Forever

Speaking of eternity, marriage isn’t the end goal.

Ultimately, the goal of your life is to run the race and bring God glory until we see Him face to face. Marriage is a beautiful gift from God, but it is not our raison d'etre.

When we join our Savior in Heaven, human marriage comes to an end. Death will eventually “do us part.”

Furthermore, when Jesus returns, He will be fully united with His bride (you and me). In some sense, this means that no Christian will be single forever.

Singleness Has Its Challenges…So Does Marriage

We all fall victim of believing the grass is greener on the other side, and we all know this isn’t the case.

Sometimes singles idolize marriage and believe all their problems would go away if they were married.

That’s not true either.

Singles face challenges. Married couples face challenges.

In those challenges, speak with God in prayer and ask him to give you strength. If the challenges are too great, it is not wrong to ask God to provide you a spouse. But don’t believe for one second that your problems will suddenly disappear.

God is only the only one who can save, heal, and deliver you from your various afflictions.