How to Make Christian Friends as an Adult
God created us to be in relationship with Him and others. The simple truth is that we are better together. But as you get older, it seems harder and harder to make Christian friends.
When we were children, it seemed like we made friends easily. It came down to who wanted to play at recess. But, if you ask any adult who has moved to a new city and had to learn how to make friends all over again, they’ll tell you it isn’t that easy.
There are several reasons why.
Sometimes it is because we don’t see the need.
Sometimes it is because we are too busy.
Sometimes it is because we are scared.
No matter the reason you are holding back, you need to make Christian friends as an adult.
The Bible tells us that friends encourage us, challenge us to be better, and hold us accountable.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
But, again, how do you make Christian friends as an adult? It’s not like you can just go up to someone at recess and ask to play tag.
Well, I guess you could do that, but read on for some more realistic tips for making Christian friends as an adult.
Go Where They Are
If you are on the search for Christian friends, it is wise to go to where the Christians are (aka church).
The local church is the best place to find like-minded believers and foster friendships.
Join a Group
If you think you can just go to church on Sunday mornings and make friends, you’ll be disappointed.
Think about it.
When you attend a church service just for the worship and message, do you have much time to develop relationships with the person sitting beside you? No.
This is why it is important to get involved and join a group.
For example, join a Sunday School class or a small group. These are groups that allow more space for getting to know others.
Additionally, join Christian-based groups at your church and outside of your church.
For example, organizations like MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) offer a Christian environment for moms to meet and develop relationships.
Enroll in a Class
Another place to make Christian friends as an adult is in classes.
For example, enroll in a Bible study or take class a church your church or local community offers.
This is a good way to deepen your faith and meet others who are looking to do the same.
Volunteer and Serve Locally
You can also make friends as an adult by volunteering in your local community or serving in your church.
This is a way to meet others who have hearts of service and similar passions.
These kinds of spaces often allow for collaboration and conversations – meaningful parts of building relationships.
Take the First Step
Here’s the part that might make some of you squirm – you must take the first step.
If you want to make friends as an adult, it may require you to be the one who reaches out first.
This means introducing yourself to someone new, asking questions to learn more about them, and extending an invitation to get to know one another better.
Open Your Home
Speaking of extending an invitation, a great way to make friends as an adult is to open your home to others!
Think about it. Don’t you feel honored when someone invites you into their home to share a meal or watch a football game?
You can be this person for someone else.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. It is just a simple invitation to a potential new friend to come hang out in your space.
Stop Saying “Let’s Get Together”
Many times, adults have good intentions and truly do want to spend time with new people and developing new friendships, but life is busy.
For instance, how often have you said, “Let’s get together” to someone you spoke to at church but never actually gotten together? This happens all the time!
There’s an easy solution. Instead of saying, “Let’s get together,” formalize a time, date, and place.
But don’t make it difficult.
Here are some simple examples:
- We’d love to get lunch with you after church next Sunday.
- We’re heading to Chick-Fil-A to let the kids run off energy in the play place. Do you want to join us?
- I’m planning to go see that new movie. Would you like to join me on Friday?
My last piece of advice is to be consistent.
While there may be a few occasions over your lifetime when you meet someone and “just click,” most friendships develop slowly over time.
As you spend time together consistently, your relationship will deepen. In other words, don’t hang out with someone one time and let that be it.
Maybe consider following up with a text and another invitation.
[See Also: Eight Needed Values for Thriving Friendship]